2. “And performance art, you will take a look at how various people performed, namely, the two people. And you have to form your own judgment. It’s not for me to say.”

Uh, you literally just said that “we got nothing.” Also, “performance art?”

3. “I think it was a good day for Russia. I don’t see what we got out of it.”

But, wasn’t it “not for (you) to say?”

4. “Look, for five years, from the day I came down the escalator, we have been under investigation, and it turned out to be all false stuff. It was a terrible thing with the ‘Russia, Russia, Russia,’ which actually made it difficult to deal with Russia.”

5. “And now it’s up to 19 different things where we were accused, and it turned out to be absolutely false, whether it’s the Wuhan lab, the good old Wuhan lab. When I mentioned that, it was like a firestorm. Hydroxychloroquine, now great reviews are coming out on that.”

6. “But it’s all coming out. I think the people understand it. I think that, in many ways, we’re stronger now than ever before. They understand that deception and the horror that these people put this country through. It’s really very sad, actually.”

Strong. But also sad.

7. “But literally, from the day of that wonderful ride down the escalator, from that moment on, investigation after investigation.”

Trump’s fascination with a 15-second ride down an escalator is both fascinating and utterly weird.

8. “But you know what? I left that up to DOJ. I left that up to the people running DOJ. And I wasn’t involved.”

9. “Everyone still waiting for Durham, what happened to Durham? How was that allowed to go into another administration? It’s just — it’s shocking.”

10. “But hopefully, you have an attorney general now that will be fair. But I will say that the people running the justice — and the people in it, don’t forget, you have tens of thousands of people, and they were put there by Obama.”

The people who oversaw the creation of the Durham investigation and the timeline of its progress were ALL appointed by Trump.

11. “There was such guilt and such a horrible thing happened. They were spying on my campaign. You know, if you think about it, all the way back, almost at the beginning, when I — when I made a statement that my campaign was spied on, it was one of the biggest moments. It was — nobody could believe it.”

12. “Then it turned out that I was more than spied on, much worse than being spied on. But they didn’t do anything about it. And to me, that’s a terrible thing for our country.”

13. “How many Chevrolets are being sold in Berlin? Not too many. How many Chevrolets are being sold in Paris? Not too many. Maybe none.”

14. “And then we got hit by the pandemic. And nobody did as good a job with the pandemic as we did.”

15. “I got along really well with [Putin]. Nobody was tougher on Russia, he would say that. But nobody was tougher on Russia.”

Just a reminder: The Mueller report, as well as the Senate Intelligence Committee, concluded that Russia meddled in the election to help Trump and hurt Hillary Clinton because they believed the billionaire businessman would be better for their interests.

16. “I think we had a, you know, great shot at having an unbelievable relationship with Russia. It could have been fantastic. It could have been really beneficial to both countries.”

Well, other than the myriad of human rights abuses, the ransomware attacks and the interfering in an American election and then lying about it …

17. “They’re making windmills all over the place to ruin our land and kill our birds, to kill everything.”

18. “The money from Russia, $3.5 million from the wife of the mayor of Moscow — the former mayor of Moscow.”

19. “We no longer have a fair and free press. Whether you like it or not, and I hate to say it to you, because you’re a big believer in the press despite what you go through, but we no longer have a free and fair press.”

Ah yes, Sean Hannity, paragon of the free and independent media.

20. “Now, when you look at China, and you look at the military apparatus, which I was really doing a big job on.”

A “big job,” you say?

21. “I really hope and I believe it was an accident, it was incompetence. I guess some people don’t necessarily agree with that. They think maybe there was purpose to it, which would be absolutely terrible.”

This is Trump floating the conspiracy theory that Covid-19 was purposely released from a lab in Wuhan. Hannity, in case you were wondering, didn’t call him out on that. Oh, you weren’t wondering? Right.

22. “Look, countries have been destroyed over what they did, and whether by accident or not. And I would hope that it was accident. I hope that it was through incompetence or an accident.”

See above.

23. “I can tell you from personal experience, Canada is very, very tough. Canada is as tough as anybody.”

24. “Now Canada treats this country very, very badly.”

25. “And shockingly, we were supposed to win easily at 64 million votes, and we got 75 million votes, and we didn’t win. But let’s see what happens on that.”

26. “You know, they talk about me with Russia, I get along with Putin. I had a good relationship with Putin. But I was so tough.”

Yes, yes, you’ve have said that.

27. “So, I’m very honored to say that my endorsement means more than any endorsement that has ever been given by anybody.”

More than anyone ever?!!? Well, at least he’s “honored” to say it.

28. “So, I’m working on ’22, getting a lot of good senators and a lot of good congresspeople elected.”

29. “But if you look at the numbers, people are liking me more now than ever before.”

30. “I am under siege. I agree with you on that.”

Yeah, this feels like a good place to end.